you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
