I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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