Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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