there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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