I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
