what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
ugly people sure do ruin things
Dignity is for republicans.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
