Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
