im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
