Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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