"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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