Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
