He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
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His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
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He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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