You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
