She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
