i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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