The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
