I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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