If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
