Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just saw a hot homeless man
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.