I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
