Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.