Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something

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  (202): the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something http://tfl.nu/lezg
  Replies (2) Good night (1044) Bad night (508)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru

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  (573): i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru http://tfl.nu/xoee
  Replies (22) Good night (889) Bad night (3515)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again

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  (215): I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again http://tfl.nu/3rrj
  Replies (7) Good night (1144) Bad night (3024)
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  (347): View more from New York

  i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours

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  (347): i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours http://tfl.nu/3wc8
  Replies (33) Good night (4391) Bad night (1756)
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  (607): View more from New York

  i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.

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  (607): i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change. http://tfl.nu/yfee
  Replies (18) Good night (4702) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.

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  (253): Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers. http://tfl.nu/3nnr
  Replies (37) Good night (1161) Bad night (5398)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?

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  (405): also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format? http://tfl.nu/009x
  Replies (27) Good night (6362) Bad night (1399)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...

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  (818): Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth... http://tfl.nu/7gxw
  Replies (13) Good night (1572) Bad night (5490)
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  (760): View more from California

  searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this

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  (760): searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this http://tfl.nu/chn0
  Replies (10) Good night (3127) Bad night (1379)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition

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  (425): the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition http://tfl.nu/w42o
  Replies (11) Good night (4139) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics

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  (435): When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics http://tfl.nu/17q6
  Replies (13) Good night (3851) Bad night (888)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?

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  (740): besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right? http://tfl.nu/pxhk
  Replies (7) Good night (1420) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?

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  (347): I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank? http://tfl.nu/v6b9
  Replies (3) Good night (966) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out

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  (630): i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out http://tfl.nu/xbjc
  Replies (3) Good night (883) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.

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  (845): I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk. http://tfl.nu/pg5c
  Replies (2) Good night (348) Bad night (953)

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