Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter? http://tfl.nu/0om2
  Replies (75) Good night (1581) Bad night (5232)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion. http://tfl.nu/57n6
  Replies (31) Good night (698) Bad night (4644)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away http://tfl.nu/wxv7
  Replies (15) Good night (1097) Bad night (4120)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store http://tfl.nu/dcxn
  Replies (7) Good night (3420) Bad night (1332)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?" http://tfl.nu/quj5
  Replies (15) Good night (7365) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call" http://tfl.nu/v8oa
  Replies (28) Good night (4957) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7 http://tfl.nu/lyiq
  Replies (3) Good night (2708) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me. http://tfl.nu/2xwv
  Replies (5) Good night (521) Bad night (2004)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.

  (760): View more from California

  You're High aren't you?

  (858): View more from California

  Sooooo high

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service. (760): You're High aren't you? (858): Sooooo high http://tfl.nu/byvy
  Replies (11) Good night (3193) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  We're going to catch a squirrel this summer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): We're going to catch a squirrel this summer http://tfl.nu/ykra
  Replies (9) Good night (1727) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket... http://tfl.nu/72dv
  Replies (4) Good night (969) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel? http://tfl.nu/4qia
  Replies (11) Good night (662) Bad night (1411)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top. http://tfl.nu/zeve
  Replies (11) Good night (919) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries http://tfl.nu/429z
  Replies (3) Good night (1003) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife http://tfl.nu/29ie
  Replies (2) Good night (374) Bad night (728)

Randomize