...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.