I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
