im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
