11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
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i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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