shes about as inviting as chlamydia
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
This house was built for laser tag.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.