every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?