Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.