my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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