He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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