# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
