I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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