You work out of a Hotel?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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