fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
