dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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