Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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