Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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