If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize