Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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