Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
