just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
