I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize