Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
