I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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