fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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