Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
