what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
