I feel like abortions should bother me more
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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