Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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