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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
