At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
