Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
