if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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