people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
