I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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