he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
