the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
