Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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