I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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