Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
