Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
