we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
