He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
