"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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