I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize