I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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