You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
