I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Randomize
