the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
