someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
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