is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
