I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
