I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
