this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
