they need to just BURY HIM!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
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I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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