No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
