I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
