I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
