All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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